Nihilism
by Lady Nogitsune
Summary: Nothingness has neither values nor morals - it is simply stupid. After the end of R2, Lelouch and Clovis spend quality time together. A strange and somewhat disturbing conversation in Nothingness ensues.


And finally, I started posting my stories here.

**Summary:** _"Nothingness has neither values nor morals - it is simply stupid."_ After the end of R2, Lelouch and Clovis spend quality time together. A strange and somewhat disturbing conversation in Nothingness ensues.

**Fandom:** Code Geass (obviously), spiced up with some Angel Sanctuary and Death Note references  
**Genre:** Humour, General  
**Characters:** Clovis, Lelouch; mentions of quite a a few others  
**Rating:** T  
**Beware of:** Spoilers and pseudo-yaoi

* * *

"You know," Clovis said conversationally as they drifted through Nothingness, "I might have been more inclined to help you if you hadn't shot me."

Lelouch, who had once again tripped over... well, _nothing_, took the time to curse afterlife one last time before he got up and stared at his older half-brother in disbelief. "Are you _still_ going on about that?"

Clovis looked affronted. "_Of course_ I am. I always knew you lacked decorum, but that was by far the rudest thing I ever had to witness."

"Which is not very surprising, considering it was literally the death of you."

His brother shot him a _look_. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you grew up in the gutter."

Lelouch smiled, unmoved. "That depends. Do you consider Japan the gutter?"

"Seeing as how you at least had _some_ manners before you left your home country... yes, I think I do."

"Ah." Lelouch's smile turned sly. "That explains how you lost yours, too, when you came after me."

"I will let you know that ordering a massacre is not _rude_. It is merely... unconventional." Lelouch snorted, and Clovis continued, "They were not family, after all."

"And naturally, that gives you the right to annihilate them."

"Ah, well... maybe I went a bit overboard there. But it's _your_ fault for pretending to be dead."

"Of course it is my fault, dear brother. Everything is. I am the Demon King, after all."

"That reminds me... I _did_ tell you that was corny, didn't I?"

"Every single day since I arrived."

"Ah, good... because it _was_ corny."

"I might have taken you seriously if I hadn't had the pleasure of listening to your endless speeches about justice and tragedy for three years after you became governor. If my magnificent plan that brought peace to the world was corny, then what were those?"

"Badly done, little brother. They were simply badly done."

"Don't tell me you've actually become capable of self-criticism in death."

"Please, Lelouch, give me some credit. I _knew_ those speeches were ridiculous when I made them."

"You don't say."

"Actually, I thought it was _hilarious_ how so many people bought them. Not that it surprised me. Have you ever listened to one of _father's_ addresses? Now that's what I call bad entertainment. And then he had the nerve to turn my funeral into one... it was _awful_, I tell you."

Lelouch snorted. "If anyone has the right to complain, it's me. You were dead – you could have just moved on to the World of C. _We_ were forced to watch the thing at school."

"I pity you, I really do," Clovis said, sounding not sincere at all. "However, I would appreciate it if you would not get smart on me. It was you who killed me in the first place, and we both aren't in the World of C for a reason."

Lelouch glanced at his brother suspiciously. "Which makes me wonder... you know why _I_ prefer Nothingness over the more common version of afterlife; but what are _you_ doing here?"

"Why, stalking you, of course!"

At that, Lelouch actually took a step back. "_What?_"

"Now really, little brother." Clovis smiled at him. It was not a very reassuring smile. "You are not the only person allowed to have strange fetishes. You want to watch the whole world from the front row, I like watching my favourite little brother who shot me through the head - preferably without getting thrown into a melting pot first. That's perfectly legitimate. Not overly sane, maybe, but perfectly legitimate."

"Fine." Lelouch secretly hoped he sounded more disgruntled than creeped out. "But that still doesn't explain how you even _got_ here. I have the 'an immortal witch at my disposal' thing going on, but I doubt the same is true for you."

"Ah, the little details," Clovis said, but he looked smug. "You know that there are several universes beside our own, don't you?"

"Of course. C.C. managed to make fate confuse me with that one narcissistic sociopath bent on world domination, after all." His brother gave him a _look_. Lelouch, as always, ignored him. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well...," Clovis drawled. "I met that interesting person with more than just two sable wings on their back and a whole wardrobe consisting of black leather."

Lelouch looked at him incredulously. "You met a woman with wings and a _leather fetish_ in afterlife?"

"It was a man, actually. He called himself the Lord of Hell, and his little brother asked me if I was gay." Lelouch stared, and Clovis crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "What? At least he _asked_. There is no doubt about _your_ sexual orientation."

Lelouch spluttered.

"Oh, please. You had a half-naked girl in your bed for _nights_ and didn't do anything. Now, I might have been inclined to believe in your supposed heterosexuality regardless, considering how that _woman_" - Lelouch vaguely remembered that Clovis always hid in a non-existent corner when C.C. showed up - "is not exactly human. However, you also had a cute girl at school wrapped around your little finger, and it took you killing her father and going on a huge guilt trip before you even looked at her twice."

"I don't see what Shirley has to do with anything." But for once, the look on his face betrayed Lelouch.

"And what about that girl with the bunny costume? She was definitely hot, not to mention head over heels for you. It would only have taken you a word to get her into your bed. And what do you do? Let yourself get penetrated so throughoutly by what you dub your 'best friend' that you land _here_."

"Leave Kallen out of this!" But instead of blushing faintly and getting seriously irritated, as Clovis had expected, Lelouch paused to look at him strangely. "And when the hell did you become so vulgar?"

"I don't know. When did you start screwing that Kururugi boy?"

"I told you, we are friends!"

Clovis smiled amiably. "And I am not vulgar. Now, where were we again? Ah, yes. The Lord of Hell introduced himself as Lucifer – there _are_ some people with manners left on the non-earthly plane -, and we had an interesting conversation about how little brothers are a pain. He then told me about his one true love whom he followed through the circle of reincarnation for several centuries – it was quite fascinating, I must say -, and asked me if I wanted to stalk you for all eternity. Needless to say, I was positively thrilled."

"You are sick, Clovis."

"Maybe; but you're stuck with me."

"I hope you are aware that I would shoot you again."

"Of course I am, little brother. So... what do you think? A match of chess, for old times' sake?"

Lelouch stared at his highly obnoxious and obviously mental relative for several seconds. Then he shrugged. "Why not?", he asked idly. "I might enjoy an easy win for a change."

Clovis, who had already turned towards the chess board that had appeared next to them, glanced over his shoulder haughtily. "We shall see, little brother," he said. "We shall see."

x x x

Somewhere in the World of C, a sociopathic narcissist with a God complex wondered _what the hell was going on_.

He never got an answer.


End file.
